For the Girl who is Tired of Heartbreak + Being Single

Our society really idolizes relationships and marriage - whether you’re Christian or not. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re not good enough, and they say maybe that something is wrong with you and you’re just not worth loving. Isn’t that horrible?! I know I believed these lies for a majority of my life.

At a young age, I remember desiring to be loved and to feel beautiful. I would look in the mirror every morning before school and would pick myself a part. Sometimes I even cried in the shower over how ugly I felt. I thought that if I had a boyfriend, that I would experience that “true love.”

The older I got, the more this desire to have a boyfriend grew. It was like I was on a mission to be in a relationship. I thought that if I was pretty, that if I hid my flaws underneath make up and designer clothes, that maybe a boy would deem me as beautiful. So I started to do this in high school and started to be someone that guys would like. I started to get attention from guys and started to date and have “flings.”

But each relationship (if that’s even what you want to call them) lasted only three months and I was dumped. Each failed relationship left me feeling more unloved, unworthy and broken. I was so hurt and at a loss of words. So then I told myself I wouldn’t be in serious relationships, which that didn’t end well ever. Again heartache and hurt filled my heart.

I went off to college and said to myself, I’m just going to swear off relationships and live my life for myself. So I did that. I did whatever I wanted to do, hung out with who I wanted to, and partied with who I wanted to. And again, I was in a spot of feeling broken, empty, and unloved. Was there something wrong with me? Was I really that bad of a human? Why couldn’t I find this love in the movies? What did I do to deserve constant heartbreak? Would I ever find love?

A friend in college shared with me the most beautiful love story ever. It wasn’t romantic like you see in the movies. It was real, it was raw, and it WAS love. She shared with me that we were broken people, but that’s not how God designed this world to be. God’s original design was this perfect world where we would all live in harmony, but He also gave us free will and we chose to live our lives how we wanted. And when we turned our backs on God, it resulted in separation. We would try all the things to fulfill us and to feel valued - working, chasing after money, relationships, and even good things like volunteering and going to church. But all these things are like bungee chords. They fulfill for a bit, but then BOOM they bring us back into feeling stuck and broken. God didn’t want us to stay in brokenness so He made a way for us. He sent down His one and Only Son to live a perfect life on Earth and He was killed because of that. He hung on the cross with His blood pouring out for all of our mistakes. He hung there knowing we might not love Him back. He hung there knowing that we will disobey Him, disappoint Him and dishonor Him. But He still died for us.

Why did He do this for us? Because He loves us, friends.

When I heard this GOOD NEWS, my whole life changed. My idea of love changed. I wanted to love Jesus that same way He choose to love me. I wanted to love others around me this way!

“The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.”  - Tim Keller

He said “________ (your name here), don’t worry, whatever you’re struggling with or feeling, I will cover it.” He is the only one who will fulfill us. This is love friends. Sisters, we were made to pursue a relationship with Jesus. We were created to know Him, worship Him, and follow Him. No boyfriend, fling, or even your husband (even if they love Jesus) can love you the exact way Jesus does. We are imperfect people and our emotions are wavering. Jesus is perfect and He is CONSTANT. He doesn’t change how He feels about us based on our actions.

Jesus’ love is unconditional - He doesn’t just walk up and leave when we mess up. He doesn’t turn our backs when we do Him wrong. He pursues us, meets us where we’re at and covers us with grace. Jesus loves you right where you’re at. You don’t have to clean yourself up or get yourself together, He loves you because He created you.

So, if you’re struggling with that truth, I pray God will stir in your heart and that HE will bring you COMFORT and LOVE in Him. Praying God reveals this truth to you and that you experience His unconditional love. Jesus LOVES you!

Check out this song - it’s one of my favorites! :)

Check out some verses on dating + relationships here.

Julia Mann